Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

when life hands you lemons …… you are spose to make lemonade right?

What if you are not very fond of lemonade..haha…then what?

Too often than not there seems to be an abundance of hurdles in each persons life. Very different of course for each human, but still I feel some of all the same underlining issues. Everyone wants to feel cared for, nurtured,valued, important,strong,safe,fearless,physically healthy, but most of all overwhelmingly loved.
We all go in search of this, and when we dont achive some of these we feel…..? like failures? unsatified..fullfilled? People say you must love yourself before you love others. But is that true? For love to exist in the first place dont you just have to have a open warming heart for another..See their falts and look past them to the greater overallness of them. What does that have to do with you personally. I would like to believe people can love and truely mean it dispite thier dislike for themselves. I know many around me that underneith it all do not really truely care for themsevles. But I do believe with my WHOLE heart that they do love me. And… I love them back, for those same falts they hate of themsevles.
So back to lemonade… if you dont like it, do you just throw away the lemons, or do you use them simply for somethign else in a diff manner. Maybe as decor, or to flavor a fish, make salad dressing? Or even lemon cupcakes!:D….
So whose to say if you do not truely love youself(lemonade) that you wont find a way to make use of yourself in an area that you do love (cupcakes) for others to love. Is this how the world really works and how love does as well? We all just find a way to find a nitch and someone who loves us for that nitch? Thus making each hurdle we then soon there after run across a little easier to deal with bit by bit? Do we keep finding new little nitches about ourselves growing in numbers of people who love us for each little one till the very end, till we pass away.
I dunno, I really dont know what Im takling about. I am just rambling as thoughts come to my head. And ironically and silly as this is, is that one of you will read this and say so perfectly… I love her for this. And thank you! For this is my days nitch maybe my weeks nitch. One that I think while typing is simply lemonade, but you think it is my lemon cupcake coming to life.
I hope you all are doing well and finding ways to use your lemons. I am struggle/guggling(like a clown haha ) a few of mine but knowing/feeling the love that I know exists from others makes these hurdles just a bit less difficult. Thank you.

LOve always,
xoxoxoxo
tessie

Is vunerability a good quality or bad?
Do you think it is always best to put your feelings and yourself out there?
I mean what if they are unjusified feelings? Where do you draw the line as a person in determining when the best time to speak them is, OR if at all? Too often I feel everyone goes through this push pull fight with in them. When the best time it is to speak it to a friend, family member, or lover. Which then brings us to even the people who dont wish to play a game or any games with relationships , always end up doing. Because in essence holding back it all is playing a game the game of timing… the game of hiding from ….hurt? dissapointment?or anger? hahaha oh well
give me your thoughts on all this too
xoxoxox,
tessie

 As you guys know I have been working int he bakery for about 2 weeks now ! It has made my days busy busy …but.. fun!My favorite at the shop is our strawberry.I am sure I will switch it up and like something else later on.( I mean  I like them all but fav wise) Other than that I have been going through some family stuff as well, with my dad ,etc.

I hope everyone has been doing well, It is almost spring break for alot of people then soon summer again! YIPPPEEE

Does anyone have anything super fun and exciting planned for spring break or summer? A part of me wants to travel somewhere for fun and another part of me just wants to stay home.I keep going back and forth and cant seem to make up my mind :/. Maybe some of your extravagant trips will perswade me?:)

 So for those of you have have seen me the last two days know the surprise I have:d for the others I guess that means you have to come talk to me:)! right?!?! cough cough TIM! hahaha

Anywho I know this was a short one, jsut wanted to make sure u guys knew I was still alive ! better ones to come

xoxoxox

tessie

 after being up since 4am . i came across this ..

hilarious!!!

heres the contest

Each guy draws/sketches and posts the drawing in the SCGG of me . their fav pic of me recreated
no PPV pics no nudity drawn

70% drawing much be done but u can add other things.
1 drawing entry per person!

The contest ends at the end of FEB

the winner wins Free Credits awarded by Kat to the winner

good luck boys !
ps! be creative, have fun, remember to draww with love and try to capture whatever essence of me you think I have

xoxoxoxxo
Tessie

So as most of you know Kat and I left thursday morning to go to Las vegas for AEE and the AVN awards. We arrived at around 6pm and went strait to getting ready to meet some business friends and go out. On our first night Kat and I were so starving we stepped out into Harrah and jumped right into Toby Keiths bar and grill  where we scarffed down some yummy food, met with some business friends then headed out to a bar in th Venitian.( I’m pretty sure we went a few other places before this, one of which I think was a hotel suite party where we met some really cool people). But anywho we went to that bar later on and hung out there most the rest the night( night= morning=3am till 5 am) . Around 4 am we were hungry again so we stoped by a restaurant in the Venitian and had some yummmmmmyyyy food. We woke up the following day around 9 am , exhausted still needless to say. we got ready and headed over to AEE where we walked around checking out the cool stuff . While walking I asked many times to stop and take pictures with fans. After walking around a full day at AEE we went back tot he bar where we hung out again and relaxed.Then jetted to the hotel room to get ready for the night where we cleaned up put on sexy dresses and went to a meeting. I know you guys must think that we went out all late night hours but this night we decided to call it an early night after the meeting/ a few drinks/ and walking round a bit we went back tot he hotel room where we rented a movie and just relaxed. I cant seem to remember the movie now but it was hilarious!!! The next day Kat had to run off to a few meetings before she went to the AEE where I went strait there. Another full day of walking around posing for a ton of pictures and just soaking up all the interesting things. I was at the event from 11:30 till around 4pm where we left to get lunch then came back to help clean up and then went to the bar to hang out with everyone fromt he industry again. After being there talking business for a while we left for the hotel room to get ready for the night. Well we got there and relaized how long of a day and exhausted we were  so we cleaned up and just relaxed and went to bed , to hopefully have a fresh start for the next day since Kat would be going to backt o back meetings and I would be doing my own thing as well. With a full ngihts rest Kat and I headed out this time Kat went to her back to back meetings and silly little me went walking around the strip shopping and exploring! I hit up so many shops ooggling at all the shiney things and stopping at the sugar factory where I loaded up on a bag of candy:D and lollypops. We met up later where we hung out at the bar with business people again then left to get ready for a fancy dinner. That night we went out to Carnevino (Mario Betalli’s steakhhouse in the Palazzo) The dinner was to die for, great wine great steak , sides, and dessert. It was wonderful. We later took a cab to Crown in the Rio where an industry paarty was being held. We drank and danced our tushies off till around 3 am . Kat and I decided that it was late/ early enough to head out and get enoguh sleep for the meetings that would be had the next day. We go back to the hotel and crashed. The next day Kat got ready and headed out to meetings, my lil sleepy ass was exhausted in bed for a long time where I slept in and then later got ready and met up with kat for the rest and our final night.This night we went to a buffet in the Wynn for the night. The food was again to die for.For those of you who know me you know that I had only a little real food and then ate lots and lots of dessert . The we headed back to the  hotel room and called it a ngiht and trip, waking up in the morning to drive home :D.

As you guys know this is a summary and over view of what happened everyday/ night there are some detailed stories that you are free to ask me in my chat room some of which involve some strange fetish booths and the people we say at AEE

xoxoxox,

tessie